Why is it that whenever you think you’re by yourself and you break wind you automatically attract 1d6 people?
Over lunch I had to stop back by my dorm to pick up some paperwork I forgot, and while I was in my room I let loose the demons of a Wendy’s lunch. Precisely as the fumes of irradication hit, a friend of mine and his dad show up from down the hall. They were just moving in. So I made some really weak “Woof, the garbage chute reeks” comment, but unless the garbage chute smells like half-processed Wendy’s hamburgers, there’s a big No Go for that alibi.
Grrr…
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When blessed with a supernaturally-powered rectum, one must simply be proud of one’s ass and its fruits. When you fart in mixed company, state that you are sorry if anyone is offended or meets their death, but point out to them how you’re awfully glad that’s out in the open air and not eating a hole in your large intestine.
They will likely be too stunned by your skillful casting of stinking cloud to argue.
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