Being Master of Your Domain

My good buddy Debra over at Reflecting had a positively intriguing post today about self-analysis and whether or not a person can change their own destiny.  She compares life to a day at school, and she feels like she is in the remedial class… this couldn’t be further from the case.  She wonders about how people that “have it together” learn to get it together and how she can do that from where she perceives herself to be.

I feel that I can offer a wee little bit of insight here, since I am often wrongly accused of “having it all together” and “being in control.”  Here’s the big revealation: not one person, anywhere, actually has it together.  It’s natural as people to strive to be more collected, more organized, more engaged… but this can often lead to disappointment.  Do not misunderstand… I believe strongly in striving for perfection, setting goals, and trying to reach them.  What I take exception to is people that judge themselves by this perfect image that they create to fight against.  News flash: it’s impossible to win!

Instead, I take the incremental victories towards being more organized, working a plan, and making my life better.  There will be plenty of time to take stock down the line… if you are a planner like me, make your plan, do everything you can to make incremental steps toward your goals each day, and to nuts with perfection.  If you stop worrying about it for so long, you might be surprised at how far along the path you get without noticing.

Debra asks a very important question whether or not we organically grow into the people that we will become or if we can wrest control and make changes to affect our life.  I believe that both are true: you can make changes to your plan and working that plan will help you grow into the person you want to become.

I will elaborate a bit more just so I’m not brainlessly answering Debra’s questions: I don’t believe in luck, nor do I believe in worrying about where I am relative to other people.  Everyone looks at how far my career has gone, how quickly I have progressed, etc and says something to the effect of “wow, you must be lucky.”  It’s not luck.  It’s being communicative, knowing how to work in a way that not only satisfies the job tasks but also makes your managers/customers/coworkers look good at the same time, and being open to embracing new (and sometimes scary) opportunities as they come along.

I also don’t tend to worry too much about what the guy down at the other end of the hall is doing.  Keeping up with the Joneses usually tends to either get you into an “arms race” which causes you to abandon your plan for the sake of appearances, or it gets you into an endless shame spiral that can also cause you to abandon your plan AND feel bad about yourself at the same time.

So yeah, I am not an expert or anything but this is what I think on the matter.  If you have any additional thoughts, share them in the comments.  Also, go over to Debra’s blog and tell her she rules!